So Does Ken Have a Job or What?

So while I was working on the girly girl blog,  I really got to thinking about this whole Barbie doll phenomenon.  As much as I've never cared for them, I know that the company has tried to use Barbie (to some extent) as a positive role model for little girls by giving her all these different careers that she apparently engages in while wearing an evening gown and high heels.  Because, you know, real women do that. We also fight crime in a thong and pasties just like in the comic books.

Anyway, Barbie has it all; a career (several, actually), a Corvette, a Porsche, an RV, a condo, a stable full of horses, a dream house and the man of her dreams, Ken.  Sounds great, right? It's what all women want, right?  Not so fast.

While Barbie is out being a doctor/lawyer/veterinarian/astronaut/managingadairyqueen (yep, Barbie has an ice cream shop playset), what the fuck is Ken doing?  Think about it.  How many themed Barbies have there been?  Yeah, they come out with a matching themed Ken, but he's always just a tag-a-long.  If Barbie lives in Malibu, then Ken lives in Malibu too.  But who's paying for the dream house in Malibu? Where the hell is astronaut Ken?  While Barbie is in space saving animals, what is Ken doing?  Is he just chillin' at the dream house sleeping til 10 every morning and then strolling on down to the beach to work on his tan?

Ken, apparently, does not have a job.

Now, if we go ahead and run with the idea that Barbie is supposed to be a positive role model for little girls, what sort of message is this sending? That you should work yourself ragged while some deadbeat with six-pack abs drives other bitches around in your Porsche?

Come to think of it, that' s probably why you never see Ken driving Barbie's car in the commercials. He's always riding shotgun.  I bet Ken was borrowing Barbie's car to "look for a job" then one day, Barbie found some panties  in the glove compartment that weren't hers.

There's probably an episode of Cheaters floating around somewhere with black and white footage of Ken out on a date with some other broad while Barbie is around the corner in a van with the host.  Then Barbie runs up to confront Ken and . .  well. . . You've all seen the show. And if you haven't, you're missing the finest trash television.

But just in case you really haven't seen Cheaters, a fight over or with the cheating partner usually ensues.  I'm sure Ken fell in line after that.  I mean, Barbie looks like she'll cut a bitch.

And if, in fact, Ken does not have a job, I think we have an explanation for the demographic of women that thinks supporting a leech of a boyfriend is a valid life plan.  Don't get me wrong. I understand times are tough, but Ken should at least try and get a little side hustle going or pull his weight around the dream house.  Where is Stay-At-Home-Dad Ken (After all, Skipper is obviously Ken and Barbie's illegitimate daughter. Little sister, my ass)?  Bootleg DVD Ken?  Bottle-of-Windex-and-Some-Paper-Towels-by-the-Freeway-Off-Ramp Ken?

Hopefully, Barbie's kept her options open.  There's a thousand other Kens out there and Barbie is a millionaire.  She can buy any one of them that she wants.